Games vs Life

As you start to read this you have to wonder some things, such as, why does this person think she knows so much about dating and giving any advise in general.

Over the years I have discovered that the best councilors, psychiatrist and so on are good not only because they have the training, but because they have the experience.  Now to bring up gaming logic that many may not understand.

When you start a brand new game, RPG, FPS, puzzles, action and so on, you are a Lv 0/1. You have absolutely no experience with the game. The controls, actions and special abilities are confusing to you. Slowly, with leveling, grinding and kicking ass, does one learn to master the game. There are those who do not learn how to play the game themselves, but use leveling/game guides or online guides to help them work through the game, or they have others level them up and then work with a fully leveled character, still not knowing how to actually play the game.

Sadly life is not like that. There is no leveling guide or person who can take over your body and do all the hard work, such as looking for a mate or going through the hard parts of jumping from partner to partner until you find someone who fits well with you. Like a healing priest to a warrior tank, which is an awesome combo when you are running instances over and over to level. If they work together long enough, they know each others moves and skills that they do not even have to talk, they can just go, go, go and never stop. Priest drinking between pulls, making sure they HOT/Bubble (HOT = heal over time) before starting to drink so they can mana up while the tank runs in and starts gathering aggro.

Gaming and life are sadly very similar. The more you work on your character the more you get to know it, the best way for your character to move and how it's abilities can most effectively work in a group of people can make it unstoppable. Sadly you have those who do not know how their character moves and works. They think that gear(clothes) and stats are the only thing that matters, they don't need to know themselves.

Before you begin dating, you should know yourself. Know what you like and don't like. Know the music and food and books you like. If you do not know yourself, then how can you expect others to get to know you and love you.

If you notice that you are one person around your friends and a completely different person around new people or people who you are trying to court, perhaps you should change something. You cannot pretend to be something you are not, at one point, it will break through and then others will begin to wonder. Are you really who you say you are? You act this way with me but you act this way with your friends.
If you meet someone who is showing 2 different personalities, beware.

How do you date?

I have been in the dating game for some time.
I started young, if you can call that dating.
My first "unofficial" boyfriend was a boy on a bus. Well it was in school, we were 6 years old, rode the bus together every day. He held my hand and blew me a kiss good bye every day.
My father heard about it and put a stop to it.
Sigh, the love of a father.
I stopped sitting with him on the bus.

Jump ahead a few years. I really never dated after that. There were those school yard crushes. You see a cute guy or girl and just hang on their every word, never touching them or officially dating them, but if you are lucky get to dance with them at one of the school dances.

The next unofficial person I could say I dated, I use the word dated loosely. Was a girl, she was one of my best friends. Long red hair, tons of freckles, green eyes. It lasted from age 11-13. We would hang out after school, sneak off to hidden locations and experiment. You wouldn't think that at age 11 you would be doing certain things. Well, you are wrong. We did the basic things. Hugging, kissing, fondling. Then also more. Strange as it is to think about now, then, it was just a "how does this feel?" Once we moved to a different school, we stopped being best friends. With new people to get to know, we went our separate ways. A year later my mother made us move towns. I never saw or talked to her again.

Moving to a new place when you are 14 is not pleasant.  I went from a small farm town to a city. My clothes, lack of makeup and hairstyle were not up to their specifications. I had 1 real friend all through high school. Sad to day, I spent most of my time in the library at school or online at home.

I discovered chat rooms and forums, blogging and fanfiction sites. I was in love! For a teenager, getting any type of attention was AMAZING!
I talked to so many guys I felt like I was a princess. Of course looking back on it, they were all probably older, perverted men who were looking to get dirty pictures or video chats with a under age virgin. It probably didn't help that I went into chats saying "16/f looking to chat!"

People have no restraint when it comes to the internet and chatting with people online. I think part of it is they don't seem real. I do not see you, I cannot hear you, are you just my imagination, or possibly a computer?

I had a separate email for chatting online, I even had an alias "Mika" I could be anyone in the world. I chose to be cute little Mika. Perky, always happy, full of innuendos and always interesting. I would spend hours upon hours in chat rooms, on forums trying to get people to love me. I was very lonely as a teen and drew on the attention and online affection of others.

You have to wonder sometimes, for such a powerful tool as the Internet, it certainly was an amazing friend to me.